Thierry Henry, 32
FIFA Footballer of the Year 2010

What is Va-Va-Voom? Va-Va-Voom is doing things with style, with flair, panache, a certain je ne sais quoi. Who can say? Not me. I am not the ref.

Gillette Mach 4 Turbo: Now that's what I call a close shave.

I do a lot of work for charity, you know. UNICEF, Cystic Fibrosis, AIDS. I think it's important to give something back.

"I am What I am": That was the name of the Reebok campaign I signed up for a few years back. That says it all, really.

I'm a huge fan of the NBA. I've been to the finals on many occasions, and even did the commentary for French TV once, back in 2001. Would I have liked to have been a basketball player? I never had the height, so it's a moot question, but I like to think I'd have had the touch.

It's tough being a soccer player in a country where rugby is the national sport. Sometimes you'd like a little more respect from your own countrymen. It's almost enough to make you want to pick the ball up and run with it. That's how rugby began, you know.

I grew up in a very rough part of Paris, surrounded by poverty and crime. That leaves an impression on you. Motivates you. You look at the people left behind and think, "there but for the hand of God go I."

We French invented philosophy, you know. Not the Greeks. We are a very philosophical people. Like to keep things in perspective. It isn't called the Hellenic Shrug. It's called the Gallic Shrug.

Do I feel a certain responsibility knowing that millions of children around the world look up to me to as a role model? No. Not really.

I'd like to think that I'll always be remembered as the best striker in the world in one-on-one situations against the keeper. When it's just you against him with nothing but your skill, guile, and intelligence. You're forever trying to think up new ways to outwit them, to guarantee that the ball ends up in the back of the net.

Where is home? Home is where the heart is. It used to be Monaco, then Arsenal, and now Barcelona. That is not to say that I didn't, don't, treasure the times I had there, but I think that in life you've always got to move on.

My biggest fear is fear of injury. Doing the Gillette ads and talking to Roger and Tiger, I realized how much we have in common across all sports. They are always concerned about not sustaining damage to their wrist during a game. I'm the same.

I've never been great with my head. Anyone can tell you that. The majority of my goals and assists have been with my feet.

I think racism is a disgrace, a terrible thing. People shouldn't be judged by the colour of their skin. They should be judged purely on the basis of their character.

Non. Je ne regrette rien.





(Answers to the forthcoming "This Much I Know" column in L'Équipe, November 28th 2009)

Posted by Prenderghast at 5:33 AM 4 comments

November 13, 2009

And Now a Message from Our Sponsor

From Advertising Age magazine, an update as to the current whereabouts and activities of past winners of the U.K.'s Advertising Executive of the Year award.


2008: Gareth Dailly: Liver failure brought about by excessive consumption of Jack Daniel’s™ bourbon. Currently in intensive care, Luton.

2007: Brett Kenna: Died 2008. Trampled underfoot during crowd trouble at the Reebok™ Stadium.

2006: John Hector: Died 2008. Slipped in the shower on Dove™ soap.

2005: Kenneth James: Drowned (2009) in a vat of Lenor™ concentrate.

2004: Penelope Zumzum: Died 2008. Wrapped her Mazda MX3™ around a tree.

2003: Francesco Hodge: Died 2007. Choked on Scrabble™ tile.

2002: John Kinkladze: Killed in drive-by shooting at drive-thru McDonald’s™, Baltimore, Maryland, 2004.

2001: Alan McGovern: Flattened beneath collapsed pyramid of Pedigree Chum™ tins, 2003, Harpenden.

2000: Anthony McFarland: Starved to death in 2002 after being trapped for 6 weeks in a Glasgow warehouse full of Pringles™.

1999: Paul Osgood: Killed outright by runaway Coca-Cola™ tanker, Christmas 2005, Vermont.

1998: Daniel George: Dismembered during Hovis™ Bread Riots, Keighley, Yorkshire, 2006.

1997: Archibald Harford: Died of KFC™ chicken flu, 2006.

1996: Charlene Duncan: Epileptic fit brought on by flash photography during launch of Windows 98™. Died 1998.

1995: Christian Ablett: Murdered in 1999 by strike-breakers at the Coors™ beer plant, high in the Rocky Mountains.

1994: Roger Hales: Died 1997. Third-degree burns from Thermos® of Bovril™.

1993: Lars Burridge: Blood loss after paper cut, opening Visa™ statement, 1995. Died two years later.

1992: Derek Bohinen: Washing out mouth to remove taste of Doritos™. Official cause of death, Listerine™ allergy. 1996.

1991: Kevin Baiano: Burst appendix in 1998 brought about by swallowing Wrigley’s™ chewing gum.

1990: Michael O’Hare: Probably killed by Carlsberg™ bottle thrown at Morrissey™, Liverpool, 2009.

1989: Daniel Mackay: Died of Ready-Brek™ radiation poisoning in 1996.

1988: Gordon Dickov: Knocked down by a Mercedes-Benz™ in 1990 while listening to his Sony Walkman™ and jogging.

1987: Frances Burns: Died 1989. Toxic shock from her Tampax™.

1986: David Davies: Ritually slaughtered in 1991 as a human sacrifice by Los Angeles teens anxious to appease the goddess Nike™.

1985: Jane Hennessey: Died in 1990 of sneezing fit caused by fold-out perfume sampler in Cosmopolitan™ magazine.

1984: Ian Higginbotham: Flew American Airlines™, September 11, 2001.

1983: Keith Durban: Found dead in his apartment in 2005 after repeatedly voicing concerns over L’Oréal™’s connections with fascism.

1982: Leighton Angel: Suffocated in lake of Vaseline™ at Playboy™ Mansion.

1980: Roy Hill: Stabbed himself to death in 2005 with Bic™ pen during Starbucks™ caffeine jag, 2002.

1979: John Ormondroyd: Struck by lightning while holding his Callaway™ Big Bertha™ 460 on a golf course in Malaga, Spain, during a thunder storm, 2001.

1978: Jeffrey Dichio: Engulfed by flames lighting a christmas pudding soaked in Martell™ cognac, 1982.

1977: Georgi Gemmill: Clubbed to death with iPhone™, London underground, 2008.

1976: Terence Dorigo: Strangled by rival competitors after being crowned Finland’s Burger King™ of 1997.

1975: Peter Shilton: Anaphylactic shock from KP™ dry roast peanuts, inserted rectally, 1987.

1974: Steven Lee: Died 1978. Lung cancer. Marlboro™ cigarettes. Manufacturers said he "got off lightly."

Written by :

Khmer Rouge Strippergram