Establishment selling legal highs

Ladies and Gentlemen, we live in sad times. The children of Ireland are being corrupted, corrupted by the evil scourge of “head shops”. These head shops have the audacity to sell perfectly legal substances to fully grown adults. How dare they?! “Insert moral outrage here” I feel I should make one thing clear from the outset, the only drugs I use are alcohol and nicoteen. I have used filthy street drugs in the past it was only hash but I don’t do it regularly. I have not once in my life bought anything from a head shop.

Writing an article about relaxing drug laws for people who read a comedy website might be a bit like preaching to the choir (because we all know absolutely anyone who is fun or funny uses or has used drugs and you’re all fun people right?) but basically I need a place to vent my growing frustration about the “Down with that sort of thing” attitude that seems to be prevailing when it comes to head shops. Head Shops are no more evil than your local pub, they both pedal substances that alter your consciousness. There is of course an inherent danger in any substance that alters your consciousness and altered consciousness can lead to accidents which can lead to death. The only difference between what head shops sell and what pubs sell is tax. When I go out to the pub and buy my pint of Heineken for over a fiver because vintners are gouging bastards (but that’s another days work) I pay lots of tax and the government, who make the laws like tax.

There have been several incidents of vandalism against Head Shops across Ireland. Who would have the motivation to attack shops selling things that are just like drugs. Hmmmm who would have a motivation to attack someone who makes money from selling things that are just like drugs? I’m no detective but I would say someone who deals drugs is behind it, which brings us to another aspect of Head Shops, they cut into the profits of drug dealers. I would suggest that people buying conscious altering substances would be best buying them from shops, who although the tax take is low, it is still money going back into our shit economy.

Let’s be grown up about the situation, drugs exist, people use drugs, criminals sell drugs, there is a lot of crime involved with the supplying of drugs. Having regulated shops supplying adults with things they are going to buy anyway is a lot better than having “Big Micka” dealing E’s from a Tesco bag on his moped round the back of the GAA Clubhouse. Instead of being typically Irish and closing these head shops because they scare us we should use the current excitement surrounding Head Shops to have an actual debate about our attitude to drugs, all drugs, including alcohol and including tobacco.

If Head Shops are heavily regulated, the products they sell are heavily regulated and taxed to the same level as alcohol and tobacco then is there a problem? I mean, as much fun as baseless hysteria is......