Celebrities are falling all over themselves to raise their profile in the wake of the earthquake which has devastated Haiti. Hollywood’s usual suspects came out in force on Friday night to take the part in a telethon. Multi-Millionaires such as Julia Roberts, renowned anti-Semite Mel Gibson and Jack Black all donated their time to taking donations from people who may or may not be multi-millionaires. The telethon which aired across 25 networks in the United States was the brain child of George Clooney, Clooney who coincidently also hosted the high profile event seen by millions of people.

Celebrities who were deemed to not be “celebrity” enough to answer telephones have been relegated to trying to attract attention to themselves by reacting to the disaster in Haiti on the social networking site “Twitter”. Tila Tequila (Above) who is famous for being attractive and having loose morals co-opted the suffering of the Haitian people to relate to her and expressed it in the following terms. "Each disaster on earth is no longer "MOTHER NATURE" but it is all in the book leading to the world ending. Humans have become EVIL and CRUEL," she tweeted. "I am only ONE person who has ALWAYS tried her best to make the world a better place. To stand up for ppl. I am God's Angel sent down 2 watch." Ms. Tequila’s profession to be “God’s Angel” has led to a 20% fall in attendances across all the Christian churches.

Simon Cowell has responded to the tragedy by asking acts associated with him and his X-Factor brand to produce a charity single in Britain. Among those slated to appear so far are Cheryl Cole, Susan Boyle, boy band JLS and Leona Lewis all of which Simon Cowell, who’s personal fortune is estimated to be €159Million, has a vested interest in. Never one to miss a trick U2 have penned and performed a charity single with Jay-Z. U2 have an estimated net worth of €715Million and Jay-Z has a net worth of €665million. The combined estimated net worth of these two acts is more than double the tax intake of the Haitian government for a single year*.

Kasabian Perform at Live Earth

It is not known at this point whether or not a “Live Aid” style concert will be held. However it remains a strong possibility as ever since Tom Meighan of Kasabian, declared “Come on, let’s save the Polar Bears” at the ill fated “Live Earth” concert, charity concerts have become less about the positive, uniting power of music for a common good and more about a cynical excuse to have a massive concert and get some free publicity under the auspices of caring about others.

*The annual revenue return of the Haitian government is around €684million.

(On a serious....probably hypocritical note, if you could give anything at all to any Haiti relief fund please do, Concern and Oxfam. Even a euro is better than nothing.)

Funny how now has a facebook group too, how fun. http://www.facebook.com/#/pages/Funny-How/267511443390